Young people are often swayed quickly into the world of the black and the white. They either start hating someone or praise some one to the skies. Only with age and experience does one realize that this is the world of grey. The white and the black are inextricably mixed in every personality. Often what you see is what the person wants to show. You smile, he smiles. You greet, he greets. Then there comes a clash of interests and the dirtier side immediately comes forth.

Never judge a person by isolated acts. Give them time. Often you will find your opinion changing to diametrically opposite as time passes.

Sometimes people put up a show for the gallery. Decades back a senior officer was chairing an austerity meeting in which he asked the peon to serve half cup of tea to all. He had the proceedings recorded on one side used paper. He switched off extra lights. People were impressed. What a Gandhian man!!! Only later did they learn that he used to exploit every bit of his entitlement and spent the company's money on himself lavishly, worse still, such people are often found to be corrupt.

Further, one person who appears great to the eyes of someone often is a villain in the eyes of another persons eyes, who stands in different footing and is in different circumstances. It is complex. Look around. Does every soul around you think you are "one helluva guy"?

However, even if one leaves aside the wolf in sheep clothing stuff, what the author mentions is not so much of a US-India thing but simple differences in personality. There are broad minded, helpful, considerate, narrow minded, mean, selfish people in all societies. There is a vast difference in being intelligent and an intellectual. A peon can be broad minded, helpful and considerate while a senior officer, with the best of education, can be narrow minded, mean and selfish.

Attitude is something inborn and then there is the effect of sanskaar. The result is that some people are lighter grey and some dark. But as I said, you see what you are shown. However, this is no reason to be eternally suspicious or negative. Life is like a mirror. Make the right faces and they will make the right faces. Speak nicely and the same will be echoed. The game, however, goes to the next level when interests clash. Suddenly the rules change and the game becomes very complex. - Rajesh Chaubey - Mar. 22, 2006

It is a dream that one day India will become America. In reality India is nowhere in comparison to America. Peoples may talk about software but reality is, India has huge population and more and more people are going to software field only because there is no other job in other areas and they are ready to work at cheaper rates as compared to foreigners. - Shailendra Kumar Rai - Mar. 22, 2006

In the lighter vane, we do not know about India becoming America, but the way Indians have been migrating to the US, America will become India soon. Let us not dream of trying to convert India, with its close to 60 years of independence, into America overnight. It took a lot of sacrifice from Americans over the centuries to build America. The glitz and the glamour were not always there. America then collected people from round the globe who were not willing to face hardship and sacrifice back home. Now that talent pool is in a tizzy. Many of the luxuries are available back home too. Doubts have started surfacing in their minds as they calculate the gains and the losses. Many are returning back to their countries of origin. A good number of my friends who had jumped the oceans now sport Indian addresses.

With the growth of Asian countries the opportunities are shifting. Now educated people want to work in growing economies as more and more opportunities unfold. Huge salaries are being offered. Sons are starting with salaries which are more than that of their fathers who are on verge of retirement. China and India are the markets of the world of today and tomorrow. All are carrying their wares to sell there.

Added to this, is the question whether conservative societies of China and India would like to be like America. Will Indians be happy if the society adopts American values? A lot of concern has already been voiced in that area. India has to be cautious how it develops. The good has to be retained in these quick changing times.

Human happiness is not entirely tied to infrastructure. It is more tied to social bonding and culture. Most of us have had very happy childhood days in India. What did the happiness stem from? At best, let us realistically dream and work for a richer India which can address the needs of its citizens better. On that point, India is on the right track. - Rajesh Chaubey - Mar. 22, 2006

The anecdote is indeed a thought provoking in the sense that, we are lagging behind vis-à-vis with America. However let us not be confined with the feelings that when we will become America, as this feelings shows a kind of inferiority complex. The intention of the author is also not clear, as what has made him to write this piece. But for many readers this would be an interesting page to read and for many readers this could be a point for ‘Vichar Manthan’ or ‘Brainstorming’. The pivotal point is that, do we really need to compare ourselves with America? And is the Americans the only yardstick to measure the successful / ideal society by definition? If your answers are positive for both the questions, then there is no point we continue discussing further. And those who think that our Indian society is much better in many aspects have to think and find the points where we excel on with many other societies.

People talk about idealism and can suggest an array of suggestions and do's and dont's but when it comes to actual work, no one dares to come forward. How we can be at par with America?

“Sao main se nabbe beimaan phir bhee mera Bharat mahan” the true meaning of this punch line is not that only politician and bureaucrats, but the common public; they are more beimaan than anybody else. Why they let them to be exploited, why don’t they work hard and change the systems. - Iqbal Azim - Mar. 23, 2006

Well said, Mr. Chaubey. The way the writer has presented this thought makes us feel that India is inferior in each and every aspect than America. It's true that US is a developed country and India is developing. This is true in technical, economical aspects, but there is no doubt that India is a land of virtues. We have values that US societies don't have. It is true, that in many sense, American people are broadminded, but Indian people are broadminded in many other ways. For the author, the question is ,When India will become America?' , According to me, the question that should be raised before that is 'Would we like India to become America?'. The answer would be no; we are not inferior to anyone. Yes, we would like India to be as strong economically, technically like America, but we don't want India to become America. India is our motherland, we have our values, we should treasure that and work towards the development of India. - Rakhee Sinha - Mar. 23, 2006

"Jaki rahi bhawana jaisi , Prabhu merat dekhi tin taisi".

Rakhee jee, no way. I have not presented my thought so that it makes India inferior. I have presented a true incident with some minor tweaking.

Good and bad both are everywhere but most people who lived and worked both in India and USA will definitely agree with me that "Dignity of Labor" is what lacking seriously in India now and also 1000 years back.

In my philosophy, upper and lower castes, casteism and many other problems are directly related to dignity of labor. A chamar is considered inferior because his job is considered inferior. A Brahmin is considered superior because his job is considered superior.

We can counter balance definitely by arguing about morale values, virtues, family values etc. or we can even make India superior.

But that will definitely solve none of our burning problems. America is a great country and I have no hesitation in saying that. India is great because that is our motherland, it has family values virtues etc. America is great because it has dignity of labor, solid economy and many more things.

Is America slightly better than India overall ? With some hesitation I will say "Yes". If I don't say so, I will be lying because I have choice to go to India anytime. - Ravi Pandey - Mar. 24, 2006

Purely from a selfish point of view, people must rush to more organized places, whether that society welcomes us or not. Does anyone think that the more developed societies have reached where they are without great sacrifices from their people?

We find it tough to adjust with the ills of India but we are willing to make all adjustments with an alien culture. In trying to justify our decisions in life, we sing songs of the good in that society. We appreciate how people in western societies help and trust each other and how they donate liberally for a cause. Has any of that goodness rubbed into us? NO!!! We are the original penny pinching, selfish us!!!

Recently one of us, fired by patriotic zeal, was impractical enough to hint at some investment in our state. The next moment we turned upon him like a swarm of killer bees. He was called a cheat, a thug, a swindler and a few more unpleasant names. Some of the more enterprising among us threatened him with legal action. I was amazed to watch people, staying in broad minded, educated, patriotic societies, behave in the meanest way. Have we imbibed any of the goodness of the western societies which we so vociferously appreciate?

We log on to PD whenever we find time. Is it because of a sense of belonging to Bihar or simply for time pass? We spend hours sending in advice for uplifting Bihar but when there is a hint at spending a penny we get seriously angry and proclaim "There are thugs out there waiting to grab my money and unfortunately I am far away. I have tried a lot but found no way to help. Had I been any closer I would have changed the face of Bihar". This is the height of hypocrisy. While we are in the so called "better societies" let us imbibe some of their goodness and patriotism and apply it to our homeland and home state. - Rajesh Chaubey - Mar. 24, 2006

Pandey Jee, Please, don't take it personally. It is just the difference of opinions. I am sure for many Indians living abroad you would be right, and for many, I would be. Your answer to the question 'Is America slightly better than India overall?' is 'Yes' with some hesitation. My answer would be a firm 'NO'. America is better in some aspects and India is better in other aspects. You are right that the US has a solid economy, but if foreigners leave this country then how strong it will be economically? We Indians come to the US (leaving our home-land), work for the US, add our inputs in its development, then we say, 'India is not that developed.' I know, we come to the US because of problems in India, because 'WE' will develop more working in the US. But, before saying that we should think for a moment, 'If India is not at par with the US, as an Indian did I even try to do something for India?' India is developing and it needs us more than ever to work towards it's development. We should do, whatever we can do, because, boond-boond se hi to ghara bharta hai', aur ghara bharne mein bhi samay lagega, but we will have to keep working towards that goal. It took so many years for India to get Independence. When it was under British-Raj, it would have been same kind of euphoria for Indians: 'Will India ever get Independence? How?' But, India did it, and India will do it again. One day, it will be even more developed economically than America, if Indians keep working towards that goal.

And yes, US has dignity of labour, but in Indian society, we have many such values that US society doesn't have. I don't want to list them because it will not be nice and will be a burning, controversial issue. But US society has it's plus and minus points and Indian society has the same, but this does not make US a better country than India.

About deciding to leave US to go back to India, you don't want to go back because you think the US is better. I respect your opinion, everyone is different, so can have different opinions. But, in my opinion, we all NRIs have different reasons to stay in the US or anywhere else outside of India, it can be personal, professional or may be some other reason, but I doubt it very much that all the people living outside India has the same reason as you have.

Again, Mr. Pandey, please, don't take my words personally, because we are different people and surely will have different opinions. PatnaDaily is a good platform where we can have healthy discussions, and we can find the real gem thoughts to work towards the development of Bihar and India through these discussions. - Thanks. Rakhee Sinha - Mar. 24, 2006

Ask an educated city dweller to compare the city with his native village and he will present a very balanced assessment weighing pros and cons of both. However, if you pose the question to a village dweller who has recently settled in the city and is dazzled by so many things he has never seen, he will without hesitation say that the village is hell on earth and other villagers, who are working in the fields in the villages, are fools to hang on there. He will tell you how nice and well mannered city dwellers are. He will have an amnesia about all the goodness people of the village have showered upon him and he will remember all that is bad in the village.

Should India become a materialistic, industrialized society like that of America? Is life only about materialism? Is it all about what we call our own or are there many more dimensions to it? Had life been only about owning things the rich would have been the happiest people. Is it so? The rich are dying of tension related diseases and diseases caused by rich food and lack of exercise. Family feuds for money are so very common. The rich are crowding the clinics of the psychiatrists with various mental disorders caused by the blues of modern day tension filled lives. The children of the rich are growing up consuming alcohol & drugs to become weird adults. Family bonding is pathetic.

Let us not over simplify things. Let us admit that we have no notion of where we are all headed. We do not know what we ultimately want from "development". In our urge to compete we stopped differentiating between the good and the bad. We felt insecure and made enough bombs to destroy life on our planet many times over. We wanted what we call modern day amenities and we plundered and destroyed nature for it. No one stopped to think what we are doing to the planet on which we have to live. In our greed we even forgot about how are very own kids would live. We have made our lives and those of our kids miserable and we call it development. Development should have made people happier. However, in the development overdrive we lost track of this simple fact.

Now we sit in judgment so as to who is more developed. Are we trying to say who has poisoned the atmosphere more or who has created a bigger mess? For your own sake, look at the polluted air, water and land, look at the tension in the eyes of people, look at the long queues at hospitals, look at the younger generation. Is development about stuffing ourselves with rich food, getting hugely obese and living a tension filled life? Look at Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, N. Korea, and Pakistan. Are we in control? Are we making happy societies? Is it development? I would say "Ek hi America kafi tha barbaad ye planet karne ko, har desh America ban gaya to anjaam ye planet kya hoga?"

It is high time we reigned in our horses and asked the very basic questions. What do we want from development? What is good development and what is bad development? How do we adopt environmentally friendly ways to achieve what is desirable? Can we stop competing amongst ourselves? Can we do away with all the weapons of mass destruction which we have produced? If we are seriously debating these issues we are developing. - Rajesh Chaubey - Mar. 25, 2006

I think Ravi Jee has made a great point. The dignity of labor is present in ALL the developed nations and is absent in ALL the third world nations. In fact the nations that are developed now were able to do so only when they understood the dignity of labor. Regarding the advantages of America compared to India, please check how many people who come to the US actually go back to their home countries. And no, the key reasons people don't go back is not money or easy life but it's the order, security, dignity of labor, justice, peace and freedom. But I wouldn't blame the people who are jumping the gun on this issue because I used to be like them till I came to the US and saw the light. - Som Vishwakarma, USA - Mar. 25, 2006

Comparing America with India is a ludicrous activity resorted to by perpetual pessimists. America has been free for centuries and India has been grossly exploited till as late as less than sixty years. If one wants to be an optimist look at the progress India has made in these sixty years. If one has any idea of India of 1947 he will appreciate that the country has changed drastically. In many areas we are rubbing shoulders with the world leaders. India exports an array of world class products. MNCs are rushing in to set up factories in India. India is gaining global recognition. Now when Indians (both NRIs and desis) meet people of developed countries they can hold their head high. The beggar country syndrome is a thing of the past.

As regards social transformation, the order, security, dignity of labor, justice, peace and freedom of western societies were created by people of that society over centuries. I am happy to see the new trend of educated people coming back to India. You develop a good society with the order, security, dignity of labor, justice, peace and freedom with educated people and resources. Asian countries are getting richer. Yesterdays poor are joining the ranks of the mammoth Indian middle class. Opportunities are opening up and more and more educated people are choosing not to go abroad. In fact a survey done recently by India Today (perhaps one of the February issues) revealed that only 18% of educated Indians now consider going abroad. Also a reverse flow of educated Indians has started. It may be a trickle now but, as opportunities open up, this trickle is sure to grow into a stream. With more educated people, a completely free media and resources a better society is already taking shape. So cheer up and smile. - Rajesh Chaubey - Mar. 25, 2006

"So cheer up and smile" says Mr. Rajesh Chaubey. I like his optimism. I am also in complete agreement with him. Why look at or to America? Things are changing in India, slowly and surely, and changing for the better I may add. A time must come when others, especially from the 'developed' world, look to India for guidance and inspiration. I think even that process has slowly started.- Dr Ignatius Joseph, Malacca, Malaysia - Mar. 27, 2006

Discussion on this topic is now closed.