By and large, I agree with Mr. Vishwakarma.

However, in my over 7 years of stay in the United States, I don't think I have found too many rude Indians. Sure there are exceptions but in general, I don't think this is a major issue.

As for returning goods after using it, I, for one, have never done it. If I returned a merchandise, it was for a very valid reason. I think a certain Indian community in this country is known for doing it and you all know who they are.

Though I can't recall when was the last time I used a coupon, I don't find any problem with the practice. There's nothing wrong with being frugal; the problem arises when you are a miser (kanjoos/makkhichoos). I know of one family that will refuse to eat out under any circumstances even if it meant going hungry!

Also, I have not found too many rude Indian drivers.

My personal pet peeve against many fellow-Indians are their disgusting habit of picking their nose in public. (Ugh!!!) I also find it abhorring when I see an Indian (particularly the newcomers) giving a direct stare at a pretty woman. - Arun Dutta, USA - Apr. 1, 2006

Let us change the world if we can and adjust to it if we can't. After all what cannot be cured must be endured. It is interesting to watch the "I do not do that" syndrome. By the way, often there is self praise (holier than thou) hidden behind criticism of others. It is like patting one's back on the rebound. - Rajesh Chaubey - Apr. 1, 2006

Every action and equal and opposite reaction.

Some are like half glass full vs half glass empty

Top 10 Good Habits of the NRIs

1. We are more emotional and not cold blooded

2. we spend wisely and not live hand to mouth

3. We marry for life and don't hop from Boyfriend to Boyfriend Girlfriend to Girlfriend

4. Our genuine hygiene habits are better (washing vs wiping)

5. We are more hardworking than most natives

6. We do much less hardcore criminal activities than most natives

7. We still have better family values

8. we keep link as well as help family back home

9. More often we take care of our parents

10. Just for NRBs "WE VISIT PATNADAILY" regularly - Kaushal Das - Apr. 1, 2006

I am glad Mr Som has aptly brought up the ten commandments that he feels are unethical and probably lacking etiquette from our desi brethren here in US. Although I may beg to differ on some of the points mentioned, on the whole I do admit it is something that needs to be discussed and has been aptly brought up. I don't intend to project a "Mr Clean" image here because I am sure I must have in some measure be a guilty party on more than one occasion but I am happy to pool into this trail.

I would like to add my two cents on the usage of Indian languages in public places including but not limited to work place which I find extremely unprofessional and inconsiderate towards our fellow American workers. On numerous occasions I have overheard our desi brethren conversing in their regional language not caring about people around them . I find this extremely rude. I have managed to sneak into the startled countenance of these goras configured in close vicinity which often leaves me bustling out of the scene deeply embarrassed. I wont deny that I am all evasive to such temptations but my verbal tradeoffs in Hindi often ring the air when none of our gora colleagues are around. So much for the conscious effort.

Second most common occurrence that really draws perched eyebrows are desis heating their lunch boxes peppered with strongly flavored condiments in the microwave meant for public usage in the cafeterias. While their food crumbs manage to find vantage positions inside the microwave, the strong flavor emanating from their delicious palate pleasers are busy tickling our goras' nostrils. While all this is happening, they will be busy chatting with their fellow state-men oblivious of the fact that their carelessness is giving others a nightmare. And yes the microwave will be allowed to preserve their heritage. What a shame!!!!

Something for all to think about. - Siddharth Verma - Apr. 1, 2006

Dear Mr. Datta,

Reference to your last point. I think it's a situation of "Damn you do it, Damn you don't". If an Indian looks at a pretty woman he is ill mannered and if he does not then he is not advanced enough to appreciate beauty.

Also I have seen many white people with something hanging from their nose and/or picking their nose while talking.

It's not good to point some general human behavior only towards Indian or Bihari. - Shabab, Sacramento, CA - Apr. 1, 2006

I am afraid that not a single trait you mentioned applies to me. I have been in the United States for 11 years and did my college education here. It depends on what kind of people you associate with. Are you telling me that Indian or Biharis working in corporate culture live with this sort of nonsense? I am afraid not.

You must be talking about a lot of people who come from lower strata of Indian society and never change habits or learn new or better ways of doing things. Trust me, it is not that hard to change if you try sometime. However, I have seen these types of people and I am afraid that I don't talk to them and do not associate with them. Why go back to an inferior way of living? - Aamir, New York - Apr. 1, 2006

We set our telescopes and microscopes on other people of Indian origin wanting them to behave in exemplary manner in front of goras just like the parents of a junior school child would expect their child to create the impression of good parenting and great family background. After all family / community ki izzat ka sawal hai. We observe keenly, teach, preach, expect, criticize, lament etc.

Do the goras take equal pains to project themselves in a good light in front of other communities? No. They are mostly cold and indifferent. They have very poor oral hygiene and many sport false or capped teeth. Their kids can behave like brats and get away with it while we rebuke our kids for the slightest slips. Why are we so conscious of the negatives in our people? Why are we so eager to create a great impression? Till when do we keep walking up the treacherous slopes of our low self esteems trying to prove ourselves as a great community? All our lives? It is sure to be exhausting. The other question is will the people to whom we try to prove our goodness ever consider us as good as themselves? Even if we are better they will choose to live in denial than treat us as equals. Is the exercise worth it?

People of Indian origin who proudly proclaim that none of their traits resemble other Indians remind me of the story of the crow which stuck peacock feathers in its tail and tried to pose like a peacock. It got kicked out of both the peacock and the crow community. God, in His infinite wisdom did not make the unfortunate crow a peacock. But God did give the crow the choice of being a proud crow or a crow ashamed of itself and it chose the latter. - Rajesh Chaubey - Apr. 2, 2006

Let me take a cue from the general comments of all readers on this forum and particularly on this topic.

The first question that came up on my mind was, why is it that we Indians should always take things lying down with a bowed head?

I firmly believe that it is the slave mentality which has percolated down so deeply that every now and then we remain connected with it.

Why should at one place we point out our good and bad habits at all.

The only 2 bad habits that we must shun in unison is a) ogling at girls b) digging our nose in public. All others described on the forum are common for many nationalities and should not be directed only at Indians.

I work for an Indian multi-national company and at the outset and proud to work with them and got a chance to prove what we Indians are in this part of the world and believe me you, we get due respect from the local people because of our hard work and business intelligence.

Even in our office the local staff keep conversing in local language. We do not get offended because conversing in one's own language gives a degree of comfort and you are more expressive.

I can challenge that if we practice a foreign language, our expressions as well as our words are limited to express what we want to say that we have in our mind.

Japanese, Chinese always would talk in their language when they are with others. So what if Indians do the same? One must not pinpoint so easily on this trait.

Our staff heat the pork and other dishes in the microwave but we never complained because we know that it is different for them to think like what we think of ourselves.

I believe that as far as personal hygiene is concerned the French are considered to be most unhygienic; they do not take a bath for ages living on deodorants and other body fragrances. Their mouth smells as though they suffer perpetually from pyorrhea and ulcers.

I also believe that people who thrive on very hard core non-vegetarian diet emanate a very strong and bad odour than people who go on vegetarian diets.

I think that taking a nurturing bath, using some good deodorant, chewing a gum after food and swishing your mouth 1-2 times a day will take away all the bad odour and I am sure that this is simple.

We are very well-mannered and it goes like this that you must be helpful to people and have a positive attitude and others things are secondary. - Sanjay - Apr. 2, 2006

I agree that many of the traits mentioned here are general human nature rather than being specific of the Indian community. Nevertheless, a bit of self criticism is not going to do us any harm. the personal hygiene standards of the goras leave much to be desired. Nor are they the politest creatures on the earth (albeit their impoliteness is usually much more subtle than ours!). But then, why should we compare ourselves to them. We should set our own standards.

I see nothing wrong in communicating in our own languages in public. Yes, we should take care not to do the same when we are sitting in a group that includes natives in it.

Indians invariably have the habit of playing the regional and caste politics and they do so even in foreign lands provided there are sufficient number of players to play the game.

And lastly I would like to confess that many, though not all, do suffer from an inferiority complex and try to shed off our original identities. We try to talk in English even at home and many of the NRI children do not learn Hindi (or any Indian language) at all. Let us not act like Mr Chaubey's crow. - Dr Ravikirti, Yorkshire, UK - Apr. 2, 2006

So Mr Chaubey, are you saying that we are crows and goras are peacocks?

That alone will be worse than all bad things said about Indians together in last few weeks.

We are comparing Indians with others so at least we are thinking that crows or peackock, we are either better, same or slightly behind them. - Kaushal Das - Apr. 3, 2006

Kaushalji, I am sure you know that the story was just to illustrate a point. The peacock and the crow are in the minds of people. Some people who suffer an inferiority complex think others are great and everything connected with them is worth emulating. That bias clouds their judgment. - Rajesh Chaubey - Apr. 3, 2006

Discussion on this topic is now closed.