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I
received this interesting e-mail. It raises
questions for which I have no answers. Perhaps
you have the answers...
Let's face English.
English is a strange language!!!
There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the
hamburger and neither pine, nor apple in the
pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted.
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings
are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the
plural of phone booth be phone beeth.
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher
praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck
does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a
recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways.
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language where a house can burn up as it burns
down and in which you fill in a form by filling
it out.
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which of course isn't a race at all).
That is why when the stars are out they are
visible, but when the lights are out they are
invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it
starts but when I wind up this story it ends?
Why is the man who invests all your money called
a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a
pianist, but a person who drives a race car not
called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite
things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific
mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians
can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked
and dry cleaners depressed?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him
around several times, does he become
disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles", why
aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
Try to answer these...
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Comments: |
Nice article. Please keep it up.
The answer to all your questions is
"English is Bhery Phunny Language."
- S. S. Jamuar - Nov. 6, 2006
Noam Chomsky should have the answer.
- Kumod Jha - Nov. 6, 2006
Because:
George Bernard Shaw’s fabrication of
the word ‘fish’ is ‘ghoti’ ( Janam
Ghoti)
Gh as / f / from the word 'rough'
O as / i / from the word 'women'
Ti as / sh / from the word 'nation'
So Ghoti = fish
2. Children take dictation and write
c+a+t = 'cat' but they don't write
as s+a+t = /sat/. While the adults
ask: why d-o-o-r as door but b-o-o-k
not as door;
…..put….cut….but….hut…shut…shoot….and
so on.
3. A narrator says while narrating a
brave story: Oh!!! He went from bed
to wars….! But the listeners
comprehended this as 'he went from
bad worse'!
4. A receptionist received an
Australian tourist and sought
certain information. "When did you
come?" "I CAME TODAY". The
receptionist heard today as 'to die'
and the tourist heard when as why.
(Anyway, its not a joke)
5. Saxophone - Well, I certainly
mind if someone mispronounced it.
Never demand a folksong accompanied
with saxophone. S/HE IS IMMORAL.
"But, Mr. Clinton"! No and never,
Monika.
6. However, you may make a man quit
when he should have been only quiet.
You may appreciate a man only for
being human when you intended to
eulogize him as humane. You may turn
people’s marital relation into
martial ones and see things dying
instead of dyeing
(Excerpts from my research paper
'Pronunciation Profile….
Sociolinguistic Study'.) - Madani
Ahmad - Nov. 15, 2006 |
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