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"The
strong influence of a group, especially of
children, on members of that group to behave as
everyone else does”. This is how Cambridge
dictionary defines peer pressure. If we further
elaborate it otherwise – influenced or pushed by
friends or people of same age or ability to do
some thing which you would not like to do with
your own judgment. It is not limited to any
class or age. It is a natural attitude of a
person to belong to a group in a community
eventually in order to ‘to be accepted’ among
peers, people tend to do things which might not
be appropriate for them. Like a parent would
like to host a huge birthday party for his
children after seeing a neighbour’s grand party
or a compulsion to buy a new car after seeing a
colleague driving a new car. Though you might
not be having sound conditions to afford these
lavish things and even your guts don’t allow
doing it but an external force makes you do it.
Peer pressure is most commonly associated with
the adolescent in teenagers as they are growing
up and having diverse people around. Adolescence
is an age when teenagers are still trying to
make an identity for themselves. They have a
desperate zeal to belong to a group. Hence, they
become an easy prey in the hands of peer
pressure, where bad suggestion, curiosity to try
something everyone else is doing or just the
fear of being mocked by friends lead the teens
to do things, they would rather not do if left
to their better decision. This is also the
crucial time for making many decisions as they
are exposed to several different cultures and
value systems at once. Teens’ manners and
observation of life depends much on the peer
pressure.
Let me put a story from many real life
experiences which I came across in the process
of writing this article. The story is about a
girl who is now 25 years old, working with an
MNC; she tells her story: “In my school days I
used to be a bright girl I never missed to stand
first in my class. But in class 10th I made
friend with a girl. She was having a group of
cool guys. I was an introvert girl but my new
friend was an outgoing and extrovert girl. I
felt very strongly to be like her. As the other
guys liked her they used to go out have fun. I
strongly felt to belong to this group. So I
started (though uncomfortably) pushing my
presence among them. I used to stay out till
late and this is for the first time I lied to my
parents. I started sitting with them in canteen
gossiping till late. Though, they were not ready
to welcome me in their group, I tried and give
lots of my time just to be part of the group.
Unfortunately my all endeavor to become a part
of this group could get much success despite my
all devotion. In coming exams, I faired badly.
Thus I realized where I was going wrong and
tried to control and reestablish myself and tell
no. it's no easy task but I am happy I could do
it".
But now as she is mature she understands what
really went wrong. One should never judge others
actions to be correct. One should always keep
his/her point in notice why he or she dislikes
something and remain firm on his/her grounds.
Sometime people drink, smoke or get into many
other acts just to be part of a group. They may
have to struggle with their own friends to
wrestle away from drugs, violence, sex and
overspending money, among other things. Formal
dating has been replaced informal socializing
patterns with casual sex relations in mixed-sex
groups that have increased the risk of exposure
to AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases
(STDs). In metropolitan cities the trend is very
rife about having girlfriends and boyfriends.
Most of the teenagers get into relationship just
to abstain from being teased by dealing with it.
At teenage years, peer relations become the core
of teens’ lives and activities and young people
like to socialize and have fun with their peers
rather than their families. Adolescents become
more and physically and psychologically distant
from their parents and these distances diminish
emotional closeness and warmth between them and
there are frequent conflicts and disagreements
between them. Kids seem to prefer their peers
for close relations. I just write few key
formula in my personal view to cope with the
demon of peer pressure which are: Parent should
never criticize the teenager’s choice of friend
as they take it as attack on them personally.
Rather parents should keep the lines of
communication open and find out why these friend
are important and support the self-esteem of
your children. The teenagers must be told about
the consequences of whatever behavior they are
having. The best way to deal with it is to
encourage teenagers to trust their own sense of
what is right and wrong and discuss the art of
saying ‘NO’ and remember that we all learn
greatest lessons from our mistakes.
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Comments: |
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Dear
Mr. Khan I already have gone through
on this subject so many times, but
the way you have explained it with a
real life example is really
outstanding. It's hitting somewhere
very deep inside, quite enough
softly to remember that for long
time and execute it when time need
it. Thanks for this mind-blowing
type of stuff. - Saroj Ray, New
Delhi - Aug. 16, 2007 |
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